Posts Tagged ‘App Store’
Apple’S App Store Director Sells His Personal Fart Apps
Apple has long been an icon for quality products, but its overflowing iOS App Store is a crapshoot: Nuggets of quality are buried in a vast, steaming heap of inanity. In fact, the man who oversees the App Store process runs a side business selling fart and urination apps.
Phillip Shoemaker, director of applications technology at Apple, who runs the App Store process, sells iPhone apps in the App Store under the company name Gray Noodle. (UPDATE: Shoemaker updated and deleted some of his social networking profiles when informed of Wired.coms story. See bottom of the post for more details and archived pages.)Titles include a fart app called Animal Farts (above, left and middle), a urination simulator called iWiz (above, right) and a refrigerator-magnet app called Medical Poetry.
Gray Noodles seven apps range from $1 to $2. Two apps received two-star ratings, one app received one star, one app scored 3 1/2, and the others have zero reviews.
Simulate the experience of urinating for a long time, iWizs app description reads in iTunes. Convince your friends that youll never stop. IWiz allows you to simulate urination: faster, slower or just a trickle.
The game Animal Farts features various cartoon images of animals with their buttocks facing forward, giving users buttons to trigger Fart, Poot, Drop or Wiz sounds accompanied with animations illustrating said emissions.
Story continues
Shoemaker, who has beenfrequently cited innews stories as one of the top decision makers enforcing rules when evaluating apps for approval or rejection,did not respond to a phone call or an e-mail requesting comment.
An Apple spokeswoman said Shoemaker was hired partly because of his background as a developer.
Phillips apps were written, submitted and approved before he became an Apple employee, an Apple spokeswoman said in a statement. His experience and perspective as a developer is one of the valuable things he brings to Apples developer relations team. Apples policy allows for employees to have apps on the App Store if theyre developed and published prior to their start at Apple.
In fact, three of the seven apps in the App Store owned by Gray Noodle were published after March 9, 2009, when Shoemaker tweeted he had started working at Apple. The app iWiz was published April 17, 2009, and Medical Poetry and 101 Cocktails were published March 27, 2009, according to iTunes.
Typically, Apple employees are prohibited from selling apps in the App Store unless they gain special permission from an executive as part of a policy to avoid conflicts of interest, according to Evan Doll, a former senior iPhone software engineer at Apple. Doll left Apple about a year ago to start his own company, which now produces the popular Flipboard iPad app for reading news content.
Apple employees are generally prohibited, Doll told Wired.com. You have to get a special exception from a VP. Otherwise, big no-no.
If he was doing it pre-Apple then hed have an easier time getting an exception, he added.
Ever since the App Store opened in 2008, Apple has been scrutinized repeatedly for its opaque App Store review policies regulating the types of content allowed inside the store. Apple still has not published or disclosed editorial guidelines about the type of content allowed in the iOS store.
Apples App Store serves over 225,000 apps, and only 5 percent of the 15,000 wares submitted each week are rejected, usually for technical reasons, according to Steve Jobs. But Apple in the past has rejected apps because they had limited utility or displayed overtly sexual content, and the company has repeatedly come under fire for inconsistent decision making.
For example, Apple in February began removing apps displaying partial nudity, but the company opted to allow similar apps from bigger media companies such as Sports Illustrated and Playboy to stay inside the store. Phil Schiller, Apples vice president of marketing, explained then that developers had begun submitting an increasing number of apps containing very objectionable content and the company was addressing complaints from women and parents.
It came to the point where we were getting customer complaints from women who found the content getting too degrading and objectionable, as well as parents who were upset with what their kids were able to see, Schiller toldthe New York Times.
Apple has no policy against apps depicting flatulence or other bodily emissions indeed, its App Store is often criticized for containing too many such apps. (A search for the word fart returns 745 iPhone apps and 37 iPad apps.)
Still, it comes off as hypocritical that a director of the App Store sells apps that some might call inappropriate, said Ben Kahle, developer of Me So Holy, a satiric religious app that Apple rejected in mid-2009 for containing objectionable material. Kahle said after he re-submitted the app to the store, an Apple employee called him and said Me So Holy would never be approved.
If theyre going to do things like this why cant I do apps like Me So Holy? Kahle said. Especially when the guy in charge is doing shit like this.
Update: When informed of our story, Shoemaker purged his Twitter account cited throughout the story and updated his LinkedIn profile to remove mention of Gray Noodle. However, Wired.com archived the webpages, available for download [zip]. Also, a cached version of his LinkedIn profile and multiple iPhone app aggregation websites point to Shoemaker as the owner of Gray Noodle.
Apple Blocks Time, Others From Working Ipad Subscriptions
Apple is currently preventing publishers from enabling subscriptions for iPad magazines, say several sources. Time, for example, is claimed to have wanted to put out a subscription version of the Sports Illustrated app last month, in which people would be able download issues via iTunes, but pay Time directly. Apple rejected this at the last minute, Time executives say, even though they had been in touch with Apple during spring development, and been assured that the company was alright with the plan. Time was forced to sell only individual issues.
The publisher’s management has allegedly been “going nuts” since the SI debacle, trying to figure out how it can get Apple to allow subscriptions. At one point it was suggested that the company just pull all of its apps out of the App Store, but this was rejected. No other publisher has had success in enabling subscriptions either.
Hearst says it’s getting around the problem by selling a bundle of magazines as a one-time purchase, with 30 percent of the revenue going to Apple as usual. Conde Nast is officially expected to have more to say about subscriptions within a month, but off the record, people in the company are described as stumped. “Don’t get me started,” one executive is quoted as saying.
Why Apple would reject subscriptions isn’t known, but it’s speculated that the company may be worried about how publishers would use the consumer data collected with each subscription, even though such collection is standard in the print world. Apple might alternately be worried about missed revenue opportunities, since allowing direct payment for subscriptions would cut the company out of some or a lot of income. The latter approach would be incongruous though, since Amazon and the Wall Street Journal can already bill customers directly in some cases.
Time says it hopes to offer in-app subscriptions “some time later this year.” Apple’s public response to the complaints has only involved pointing out HTML5 as an alternative. “We have two platforms that we support for apps of all types, including magazines: HTML5 provides an open platform for developers to create and distribute whatever they want, and the App Store which is a curated platform offering customers the largest offering of apps for any mobile device with over 225,000 apps and 5 billion downloads,” a PR statement reads.
The Iphone Was Nice Before It Cured Erectile Dysfunction
Its a lazy Saturday, like any other. Actually, maybe some of you have busy Saturdays. Whatever. Its lazy on this end. As such, Im about to showcase an iPhone app. No, really, youll love this.
Were all at this point well familiar with the App Stores unfathomably arbitrary approval process, but this app dares to posit the dawning of a new echelon for iPhone shovelware. What does it do? It cures erectile dysfunction, of course.
Fire Up Your Sex Drive is amazing, and I mean that in the ironic hipster way. Just For Male! the app pitches with a clear disregard for English grammar, This application could vastly enhance your male power! My male power. Surely they mean my ability to grunt and lift things and eat sandwiches from a metal lunchbox among the scaffolding of an unfinished skyscraper with my manfriends as we trade stories about hot broads with which we would like to engage in extramarital affairs.
Apparently, though, they dont. Just listen to the audio for 6 minutes everyday, and after 20 days your male sexuality will be enhanced for more than 85%! The effect is close to taking a viagra! Thats right: FUYSD plays an audio recording. Specifically, a high pitched alpha wave that could stimulate your brain to adjust endocrine system and produce some male sex hormone [emphasis mine, terrible grammar not].
Thank goodness the world has this app. There really is nothing the iPhone cant do. No task too big, no organ too flaccid. Im interested to know who among Apples crack app approval team squad force decided to take up the task of thoroughly looking a this app before letting it out the door. It takes a big man to admit his ED, and a bigger man to do something about it.
Boner.
There, I said it.